Hot Pursuit - Steele County Times

I am a survivor.  I have survived being ambushed. No, I didn’t dodge a sniper as I was tracking down a hot news tip. Sadly, that happens from time to time with journalists and did just last month in Virginia. But, rather, I pulled myself together enough to survive an emotional ambush. Barely, though. Last week I helped my 18-year-old son, Caleb, move into his dorm and get settled into his first year of college at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. 
I should be prepared for this as I sent my daughter off to college two years ago. But guess what? I, admittedly, don’t do well with these types of things. I quickly become an emotional puddle. Unprepared is probably the best way to describe this father.
I don’t know why it should be so hard, but once again, just like it was with my daughter, I struggled to cope with the loss of a child officially escaping into adulthood. It’s a bittersweet moment for a father like me who has shared a special bond with his children. Sweet, in the sense that Caleb is heading off to a great school to pursue a business degree. It’s something that I have worked hard at for years to ensure for him. I feel a sense of accomplishment to see him breeze into this new chapter of his life.  
But then, there’s the bitter part. It’s hard to let go after 18 plus years of being side-by-side supporting and nurturing my son in everything he’s done. For the past several years, my son has been extremely independent and capable of handling himself in most situations, but he still came home every night (well, okay most nights) to start out new beginnings the next day.  I have experienced some tough and rocky times over the years with both of my older kids. 
The worst came when both of them were under five years of age. I went through a divorce and eventually ended up with full custody of my children. I had naysayers in the background saying I would never be able to manage raising my kids by myself. I did so alone for nearly six years. Give me a challenge and I’ll do my best and then some to fulfill it. I made a commitment to myself that the kids were my top priority and I was not going to shortchange their childhood years more than what had already been taken away from them.  
Growing up in a broken home isn’t easy. Add to it losing a close friend in high school, as my son dealt with in his sophomore year, and you have a recipe for disaster. But, through help from God, Caleb found a way to deal with adversity, and it has helped shape him into the wonderful young adult he has become. 
As a parent, it has been difficult to watch all of this unfold. However, the adversities have been defining moments in my son’s life, and he has risen to the challenge of coping with them and turning life’s darkest moments into a solid foundation for what’s ahead.
Though he’s not always the most talkative, at least when it comes to me, my son is one of the sweetest and most caring people I know. I have been going through some personal struggles recently, and Caleb has been the one to keep me well grounded in who I am and what I’m all about. It’s certainly not an easy task for a teenager. 
A few months ago I found a handwritten note scrolled on a bright yellow piece of paper from Caleb. It had been stuffed in my briefcase. I didn’t find it until I got to work. It read: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Don’t forget this. Hope you have a great day!” It immediately brought tears to my eyes as I marveled at what a wonderful human being I helped develop my son into. 
Back to the send-off that proved to be hard for all, including my youngest daughter. In the driveway, she broke into tears and had a hard time saying goodbye to her only brother whom she affectionately adores, even though it doesn’t seem like it from time to time. Even Caleb’s eyes welled up with tears as we pulled away from home. 
For me, the worst came the next day when I dropped him off at the dorm and wished him the best in college. I held it together as best as I could, but my heart was painfully aching. Something tells me the aching isn’t going to subside anytime soon.
What’s going to keep me from suffering an even further emotional ambush is knowing that my son has already flourished in the face of adversity and seems ready to handle any challenge that comes his way. 
In the meantime, I will be in hot pursuit of surviving an eerie quiet household with two children off to college. It won’t be easy!