I Was Thinking . . . Being Minnesotan

While I’ve lived in Minnesota for 52 years, I’m still considered an outsider by some because I was born and raised in Wisconsin. Despite loyalties to sports teams, growing up in rural Wisconsin or Minnesota have an amazing number of similarities. 
We both know what is expected to be knee high by the 4th of July, that combine can be considered a noun and that “pick” rhymes with “creek.” As a young boy you learned the difference between red and green farm machinery and often argued with friends over which was better. 
Your parents also bought some of those toys at Fleet Farm. Most of your dad’s caps had seed corn advertisements on the front and his suntan stopped in the middle of his forehead.   
In both areas, you knew someone who was the Dairy Princess. You had driven on a lake in the winter and knew someone who was talked into putting a wet tongue on a cold steel post to see if it stuck. You lived in a small town if it had less bars than churches and the Dairy Queen closed for the winter. It was also common for you to buy bait at the same place you fill up with gas.  
Even social conventions are similar in both states. It was understood that getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend to shine deer could be considered a date. Most people believed that Lutheran and Catholic were the major religions. 
Football schedules, hunting season and harvest had to be taken into consideration before wedding dates were set. After a wedding, it was traditional to go bar hopping between the reception and wedding dance. And at that wedding dance both the hokey pokey and the chicken dance were mandatory.
But of course, there are differences between the two states. One state’s mascot is considered a fearsome fighter and the other state pays a bounty for turning in the mascot’s feet. True Minnesotans know how and when to use “oof-dah”, know what “upnort” means and how to pronounce Mahtomedi, Lac Qui Parle, Kandiyohi, and Eitzen.  
In Minnesota the three meals are breakfast, dinner and supper, unless of course you live on a farm and there was probably lunch at either mid-morning or mid-afternoon or both. Every church potluck included several types of hotdishes (not casseroles), orange Jell-o with grated carrots in it and some type of rice dish with raisins for dessert. Most families not only have a can of SPAM in their cupboard, they have numerous recipes for preparing it and also know where it is produced.  
To a Minnesotan, it makes perfect sense to be in Minnesota and out-state at the same time. You also know where the “iron range” is, where the world’s largest ball of twine is located and know where to find Paul Bunyan and his Blue Ox Babe. 
You are proud that Minnesota makes the news regularly when Embarrass reports the coldest spot in the nation. You actually know somebody named Ole or Lena and maybe even have a pet or child named Kirby. You’ve lived here a long time if someone mentions Harmon, Bud, or Hubert and you know who they are talking about.  
To be a Minnesotan, you must be patient and be able to tolerate disappointments. We had a hockey and basketball team and lost both of them but got new ones instead. We were in four Super Bowls but lost them. The Gophers and Twins did give us championships, but it may not have been in your lifetime. We have political leaders run for President but come up short. So, the fans constant lament seems to be “wait until next year”.  
But Minnesotans are nothing if they are not optimistic. Even though you might have sprained a toe by kicking ice chunks off your car, Minnesota is still the Land of 10,000 Lakes, has the nation’s largest shopping mall and probably leads the nation in the consumption of lutefisk. And to quote another of Minnesota’s favorite sons, “it is a place where all the kids are above average, the men are good looking, and all the women are strong.”   
Did You Ever Wonder?  -  Why isn’t there mouse flavored cat food?
Photo:  I was thinking Ron Albright