COPING WITH SUICIDE

Less than two months after their teenage son died by suicide, a Blooming Prairie couple is hoping to turn the tragedy into something positive. 
Kristi and Jamie Jorgenson want to increase awareness of mental illness, a disease that their son, Alex, battled for three years prior to ending his life a day before his 16th birthday at the family’s home on April 13. 
“It was a fight he fought every day,” said Kristi. “He was an amazing kid who really fought a hard fight. I tried to fight for him. He was broken and I just couldn’t fix it.”
The Jorgensons don’t want to focus solely on the harsh reality of suicide, but rather turn their son’s tragic death into something to help other people. “It was in God’s plan and I have to move forward with his legacy,” Kristi said, noting she still feels her son’s presence around her every day. 
“I want our situation to have a positive impact on other people,” Kristi commented.
One of the biggest things the Jorgensons want to change is the stigma attached to mental illness in which many people don’t want to deal with it. “We all know about it, but we don’t talk about it. People are embarrassed and ashamed to talk about it,” Kristi says. “I want to make it as much of a conversation as cancer and heart disease,” she added.
Kristi said there needs to be more support for those battling mental illness. She hopes to make it a conversation that is talked about in schools. “My number one goal is that we can talk about mental illness freely,” she said.
Most importantly, Kristi says, “It’s okay to not be okay.” The teenage years are a tough age period for many youth. “They need all the help and support they can get,” she said, adding they need to be told that they are important and special. 
She encourages people to speak up if they notice something unusual with another person. “I would rather be yelled at for interfering than not interfering at all,” Kristi said. 
Alex, who was a sophomore at Blooming Prairie, was diagnosed with depression, emotional behavior disorder and anxiety. He had been treated by at least 15 different doctors over the past three years. During that time, the family often found out that nothing could be done for their son. “We were told unless he tried or attempted suicide, there is nothing they could do,” Kristi said. 
In Alex’s case, his mother found his mind was his own worst enemy. For example, Alex often commented he didn’t have any friends, though he actually had many. “Everything in his mind was twisted,” she said. 
Kristi said Alex struggled with mental illness all the time, but only let it show a little bit. He didn’t have a mean streak in him, his mother said. “He was the most loving kid when it came to everyone else, but he couldn’t love himself,” she said. “I couldn’t make him love himself enough.”
Prior to his death, Alex found great love in music. As a talented drummer, he had been involved with the Stix of Fury, a local drumline that began five years ago. “He loved that drumline,” Kristi said. “He made a lot of friends with it. Music is what saved him.”
Kristi plans to continue being involved with the Stix of Fury performances this summer by handing out cards about suicide prevention. 
“Ultimately, I don’t ever want to see this (suicide) happen again,” Kristi said. “It has made me realize that I have a different purpose in life now.”
In addition to music, Alex also loved animals, mechanics and he enjoyed fixing cars with his dad. 
What has made this tragedy difficult for the Jorgensons is that they did not see any indicators that Alex would harm himself. “I would have never guessed it,” Kristi said. “It completely blew me out of the water. He always said he wouldn’t do it.”
Not surprisingly, Kristi fell apart when she discovered what Alex had done. “It’s your child. How do you deal with this? You’re not supposed to bury your kids,” she said. “I know in my heart that my husband and I did everything we could,” she added.
As Kristi goes forward with this crusade to change people’s attitudes toward mental illness, she knows Alex is right there with her. “I know he is with me on this journey and I know we are going to make a difference,” she said, adding that she will feel fulfilled if she can just help one kid.
Since the tragedy, Kristi has changed her perspective on life. “The little things that used to bother me mean absolutely nothing,” she said, adding it’s all about friends, family and faith. 
“Life can be gone in an instant and you need to cherish it every day,” she said.