‘A measure of comfort’

Cassidy Dahanaike and Wyatt Coy became friends at the end of middle school, and it stayed that way, up until his death. 
The two were locker buddies. They hung out with their friend group while on school breaks, watching TV or playing video games at the Coy residence. 
They did what high schoolers did. 
“We had a goofy friendship where we would just poke at each other all the time and, you know, make jokes, but in a caring way,”  Dahanaike said. 
Then the unthinkable happened. 
During their senior year, Wyatt Coy took his own life on Jan. 19, 2017. He was just 18 years old.
Now, Dahanaike  hopes to prevent more tragedies, as she works as a social worker for the emergency department at Rochester Mayo. 
Seeing friends helping others is what Wyatt would’ve wanted, his dad Matt Coy said. 
And thanks to the Wyatt M.  Coy Memorial Scholarship, those from the area who want to do that will have a chance. The scholarship provides funding to those who want to pursue careers in social work or the mental health field.
One of those recipients was Wyatt’s locker buddy Dahanaike. 
“Wyatt was, at his very core, a helper. He felt fulfilled when he was able to help others,” Coy said. “This scholarship provides a mechanism by which he, and his legacy, can continue to help others…forever…and that provides a measure of comfort.”
Path to the ER 
Dahanaike said she intended to become an elementary school teacher. 
In fact, after graduation, she left southeast Minnesota, to attend the University of North Dakota, studying elementary education. 
But in the back of her head, she knew she wanted to help people in the throes of depression and other mental health issues. 
“I kind of wanted to focus more on mental health and how I could help other people that might be going through what (Wyatt) was going through and maybe help stop somebody from doing it,” Dahanaike said. 
So she moved from North Dakota back to Minnesota, attending Winona State’s Rochester campus for her undergraduate degree. 
She would go on to earn her masters degree in social work and has worked at Mayo  for five years. 
Dahanaike said she decided to pursue a job there because she wanted to work at Mayo Rochester’s in-patient psychiatric hospital. 
“I got to do my graduate internship over there, and so that's why I kind of started working at Mayo,” Dahanaike said, adding she hoped it would give her a better chance at regular employment. 
Dahanaike said she has enjoyed her time working in the emergency department, a place that changes day to day. 
“I like the variety of things that we get to see,” Dahanaike said. “We get  a lot of mental health things, but we also get trauma and  get to support family members that are going through that kind of thing. So it's hard for me to say really which one or where I'd like to go in the end, but I like where I'm at now.” 
Lack of resources 
Even before Wyatt Coy died by suicide, the Kasson-Mantorville class of 2017 had already experienced a tragedy. 
On April 29, 2012, Rachel Dee Ehmke, took her own life. She was 13 years old and in seventh grade. 
“I feel like mental health,  when I was a kid, wasn't really something that was talked about much,” Dahanaike said. “I liked to be the person in a friend group that would support other people that might be struggling.”
Dahanaike said at the time, she didn’t think of that as a mental health issue but more just someone who was sad or going through a personal struggle. 
Even at a young age, she recognized the lack of resources rural communities face when it comes to mental health. 
“I do think that when I was younger, I recognized the lack of resources,” Dahanaike said. 
While Wyatt was working on dealing with his invisible scars, Dahanaike and her friend would hear about him having to go to Rochester for treatment and the desire to have more locally accessible resources. 
“Kasson has a Mayo Clinic there, so a lot of people get their primary care done there, but then it's just kind of really unfortunate that you have to go all the way into Rochester (for mental health),” Dahanaike said. 
While there were people in the schools to support them, she said, “I don't know how comfortable a lot of us felt opening up to them.”
The lack of mental health resources is something Matt Coy and his family have addressed on numerous occasions. 
He holds different certificates including in Mental Health First Aid, has been a speaker, volunteer, and event representative since 2018 for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and serves on the Southern Minnesota Initiative Foundation board of trustees, leading mental health initiatives for the 19-county region. 
During a rural voices town hall in Owatonna last year, Coy spoke about his son’s long struggle and how, when they tried to get him therapy, it was a “sorry state of affairs.”
Dahanaike  isn’t the only Kasson-Mantorville graduate to be awarded a scholarship in honor of Wyatt Coy.  
Dream comes true 
 
Amy Clemens- Petersilie graduated from Kasson-Mantorville in 1997, then went to Luther College in Decorah, Iowa.
Like Dahanaike, she wanted to become a teacher. 
She graduated with her health and physical education degree and ended up back in Kasson taking a long-term sub job at her old school. 
Then 24 years ago, she landed a job at Rochester Public Schools. For the past 17 years, she's worked at the Rochester Alternative Learning Center. 
“I absolutely love what I do and the students I work with, and it's  a very different learning environment because you really build those relationships with students and those connections with students, where I didn't see that when I was at the mainstream schools in Rochester,” Petersilie said. 
At the same time, she said, “There was this burning desire to do more and do different.”
So she started toying with the idea of going back to school to get her masters degree in social work. 
The problem was, she would have to do an internship, which meant not working. 
For about eight years, Petersilie kept the idea in her head, while also raising her family. 
Then three years ago, she received an email that would change everything. 
Rochester Public Schools was working with Winona State University to bring more people who didn’t have a social work undergraduate degree into the university’s masters degree in social work program. 
“I sent it to my husband. I was like, I think this is a sign,” Petersilie said. “I think this is what I need to do and he thought I was crazy and at the same time very supportive of it because he was  like, ‘Our kids are graduating high school, and you wanna jump on something new, and what are you doing?’”
The cohort was funded through the State of Minnesota, Peterslie said, and through Rochester Public Schools. It allowed students to continue working and get their internship hours, by paying for substitutes and other expenses. 
Meanwhile, Matt Coy would continue to come to her classroom, to talk about his story. 
“It really just continued to resonate with me of how impactful his story is, and I would always have the students do a reflection afterwards to kind of share their insight, and their insight was just so impactful,” Petersilie  said. “ And I was like, this is something that I need to do.”
Peterslie had known Matt Coy and his wife, Michelle, from Xtreme Fitness where they would go to classes she taught. The Coy kids would often be at the gym running around like kids do. 
As part of his presentation to her classes, Matt Coy would talk about the Wyatt M. Coy Memorial Scholarship, and knowing she was eligible, Peterslie decided to apply. 
Petersilie didn’t hear anything for a while, so she figured it went to someone else who was deserving. 
After one of Matt Coy’s presentations to her students, Peterslie started in on the “Minnesota goodbye” – but Coy had something else in mind.  
With a photo of Wyatt overlooking them, he presented the scholarship to  Petersilie in front of her students. 
“It was just like full circle moments of being able to take a tragedy and turn it into something special but also have meaning behind what I'm moving forward in my life to be able to help students,” Petersilie  said. 
Since graduating with her masters degree, Peterslie is still working at the Rochester Alternative Learning Center now as a Senior Transition Coordinator. 
There is still a need for more social workers and mental health professionals, which is why the Wyatt Coy Memorial Scholarship will continue on. 
Fundraiser set Jan. 31 
When Dahanaike first switched to a social work major, the first scholarship she applied for was in honor of her friend. 
It's something she still reflects on years later. 
“Just the thought of how much it's helped me get to where I'm at right now, and I feel like in a way, he's the one that helped me get there, which means a whole lot to me,” Dahanaike said. 
The major fundraiser for the scholarship fund is through the Ride for Wyatt event, which is scheduled this year for Jan. 31, at Riverside Park in Mantorville. 
The snowmobile ride and other events of the day raise funds for the Wyatt M. Coy Memorial Scholarship, an endowed (perpetual) fund to support graduate and undergraduate students pursuing a career related to mental health with a special focus on treatment of depression and suicide prevention.
Wyatt Coy is described by his family as a “loving, compassionate, funny kid. He lit up a room with his smile and he had the best belly laugh!”
His favorite pastime was snowmobiling, and after his death, friends and family proposed a “snowmobile ride” as a memorial to Wyatt and his love for the sport.
They also wanted the event to “mean something” and to raise awareness and give voice to mental health, depression and suicide prevention. They adopted the slogan “It’s OK to not be OK.”
For the first ride, organizers thought they might generate a few hundred dollars. But when it was over, they had raised more than $40,000. The Rochester Area Foundation was chosen to administer what would ultimately become the Wyatt M. Coy Memorial Scholarship Fund.
The 30-mile ride will start and end at the park in Mantorville.
After the ride, and for non-riders, there will be a social hour at the Mantorville Saloon, chili supper, silent auction, live music by Honeyshine Hollow (a musical group comprised of Wyatt’s former Boy Scout leaders), a Bloody Mary Bar, 50/50 raffle and more.
To this day, Dahanaike said, the Coy family continues to be a major support in her career of helping others. 
“Even though he's not here with me anymore, his parents have been super supportive of me,” Dahanaike said. “Every time I see them, they still give me hugs and ask how I'm doing and check in on where I'm at with things. So although he's not here anymore, I just feel like his family has really been able to support me, in a way that kind of ties him to me still.”
What does it mean to her to have received the scholarship in her friend’s memory?
“It means the world to me,” Dahanaike said.