I Was Thinking... Little Boxes

Men and women are different. I’m sure this isn’t an earth-shattering revelation for most people. And before I go any further, I have a disclaimer, “this is not about my wife.” This is about men and women in general. Some of the things I will discuss “may” apply to my wife, but it is more of a broad discussion of gender differences. I’m sure I will get enough feedback from some people reading this week’s column without having my wife feel I’m discussing our personal relationship.
My assumptions and generalities come from observing the relationship of many couples, witnessing the interaction between friends and family and from talking with other husbands about our wives. So, you can see, it is very scientifically based.
The differences I’m exploring have more to do with the thought process and communication styles between the sexes. Our brains and how we communicate differ widely. Being a man, I know a lot more about how men function.
First admission, men are simple. We aren’t overly complex. Our brains are like little boxes. We have these little boxes that contain information about specific things. We have a box for car stuff, a box for our kids, a box that is work related, and another one for sports, one for house stuff, and of course one for our spouse and probably other ones too.
But we generally deal with one box at a time, and they don’t touch each other. Women’s brains, I believe, are much more intricate.
I don’t think women’s brains have boxes. It seems everything in there is interconnected with everything else. That is why they are able to change topics so quickly because one event is connected to something else which triggers a separate conversation.
For example, a husband may ask his wife, “Do you want to go out to eat?” A very simple, straight forward question. However, the response may be something like this. “Well, we do have leftovers in the fridge, but I heard Helen likes that new Mexican place that opened. But maybe that would be too spicy for you. Do you think we should ask Jan and Dan to go along? If we did, we would have to clean out the back of the car first. Do you think it is warm enough to wear my spring coat? Or did you have someplace else in mind?
Because of all this, the husband still doesn’t know if his wife would like to go out to eat.
I meet once a week with some other retired teachers. Usually when I get home from our time together, my wife asks me what’s new. I guess I didn’t listen very well while I was there because my usual answer is, “nothing.”
Apparently, the wives of the other guys usually asked the same question with a similar response. So, our wives ask more pointed questions. What is everybody doing for Easter? When did Pete and Judy get back from Michigan? Are Cabayas going on any trips this summer? How is Doc and Al feeling? Is Jake going to have knee surgery?
When I stammer and provide little useful information, my wife will ask, “what did you talk about?” “Well, the Vikings signed a new guard and defensive tackle.” Remember, guys are simple.
Obviously, how men and women communicate differs greatly. It is demonstrated in how they use a phone. Very few of men’s conversations last longer than a few minutes. We call, ask or provide the necessary information and hang up. Women on the other hand can carry on conversations that can extend for quite some time. They seem to have refined the art of conversation to a much higher degree than most men.
Since this column is written from my own slanted male perspective, it may not reflect how all my readers view reality. If anyone would like to provide an alternative perspective, I would be willing to let you write my column for a future week.
Did You Ever Wonder? — How do you expect the unexpected?