I Was Thinking... Cursed or Blessed

Last week I talked about our struggle to relax. After the paper comes out, I read my column to see if there are any errors I missed. When I reread the column, I began to wonder if I’d sent the wrong message. Don’t get me wrong, I still believe most of us don’t take as much time as we should to relax.
However, it almost seemed that I was complaining about everything I was doing. It is true my “to do” list never gets finished, but for the most part, since I’m retired, most of the things I do, I do by choice. I know many other people who are also involved in home projects, volunteer activities and family commitments that keep them very busy. So, are we cursed to be so active or are we blessed?
Some of the daily chores we do are done out of necessity rather than choice. Keeping up with a house and yard takes continual work if we want it maintained to our level of satisfaction. Does it ever get finished? Of course not. But are we capable of doing it?
If so, we are blessed. After my dad passed and mom was alone, her biggest concern was keeping up with everything. Even in her mid-80s, she still cooked and cleaned but couldn’t handle the outside duties my dad had done. She was forced to get outside help.
When I look at what I’m involved with, there are times I feel I should scale back, and I have given up some things. But what would I do if I stopped doing what I’m involved with now? I go once a week for coffee for an hour with some former colleagues but that’s enough. My greatest fear is that sooner or later I will no longer be able to do what I choose to do.
I know people who have regularly taken care of their grandchildren and even great-grandchildren. It is quite a commitment, but I believe they feel it is a blessing not a curse. In our community, people volunteer to deliver meals on wheels, give rides to people for doctor appointments, help at the library and the school, and visit shut-ins.
It takes time away from their lives, but most feel blessed that they are able to do something meaningful for someone else. In a recent sermon, the theme was doing something for others instead of centering everything on yourself. Not surprisingly, most people who volunteer feel they get as much out of their activities as the people they help.
Some people claim they would like to help but just aren’t able to do anything. They may not be able to shovel someone’s sidewalk or mow their lawn, but they may be able to provide a ride or pick up pills for somebody else. Several older men that had mobility problems could not serve as waiters at our annual lutefisk dinner, but they worked hours before folding napkins, counting place mats, and stocking re-set boxes.
My ability to provide a meal or some baked goods to a shut-in is limited to what I could buy. But I know it would brighten some people’s lives if you provided an evening meal or even a tray of cookies. Even if cooking is not your thing, reaching out with a letter (yes, some people still write them) or a phone call could help relieve loneliness. Everyone has something they can give if they just try.
I had a grandmother that still ran a rooming and boarding house for “old people” when she was 87. Most of the people she served were younger than she was. One of her philosophies of life was, “If you start feeling sorry for yourself, get busy.” So, if we are cursed or blessed, may depend a lot on how we decide to view the activities of our life.
Did You Ever Wonder? — Why don’t you ever hear father-in-law jokes?