Alone with You

“But when you pray, go to your room, shut the door, and pray to your Father who is present in that secret place.” (Matthew 6:6a, CEB)
 
In May of 2016, on the last day of a spiritual retreat with friends from seminary, something important happened for me during meditation. One woman invited our group to settle into wordless prayer, calm our minds, and follow our breath. After many minutes of silence, she introduced a question into the quiet: What is your soul asking of you?
The answer suddenly came to me with a rush of tears: Go home and be a home for my daughters.
This answer set me on an 18-month journey of preparing my resume, wrapping up my ministry at two Presbyterian churches in O’Neill, Nebraska, and eventually finding my way to Berne. Soon after I arrived, my oldest daughter moved back to Minnesota and my youngest daughter was hired as a teacher in the west metro. We were all home. I could be physically connected to them again, there for them when they needed me.
It isn’t always easy to know what God asks of us, but the practice of deep listening in prayer and meditation can give us ears to hear. I needed the time and silence in my “secret place,” as Jesus calls it, to confront the question of coming home, and have space for the answer to emerge. These days, many of us need the time and silence of a “secret place” to ground our spirits and strengthen our hearts for the barrage of change and disorder and fear that swirls around us daily.
One simple form of meditation is called Centering Prayer. To practice it, simply sit comfortably in a safe place, eyes closed, noticing each breath in and out. As thoughts, tasks or worries arise to distract, allow them to float away. To stay present, you might choose to silently repeat a sacred word with each breath—perhaps “Jesus” or “Beloved.” If you begin to engage with a thought, don’t worry. Simply return to your sacred word.
Let go of expectations or goals. Let go of the need for words. God already knows everything that is on your heart and wants to show you the way forward. Begin with five minutes in your secret place alone with the Beloved. Work your way up to ten or more. You are invited to return again and again to what is true and loving at the heart of things.
For me, even though most of the time I receive no big, life-changing message from somewhere in my soul, as I did in 2016, these minutes of quietness in Holy presence are enough to give me spiritual courage for the day.
A poem called “My God and My Lord” by Rabia al Basri...
Eyes are at rest; the stars are setting.
Hushed are the stirrings of birds in their nests,
 
Of monsters in the ocean.
You are the Just who knows no change,
The Balance that can never swerve,
The Eternal which never passes away.
 
The doors of Kings are bolted now and guarded by soldiers.
Your Door is open to all who call upon You.
 
My Lord,
Each love is now alone with his beloved.
And I am alone with You.
Rev. Karen R. LarsonZwingli United Church of Christ, Berne, Minn.