Adversities helped shape this graduate

There’s an old saying that adversity can be a defining moment in a person’s life. Or should we say adversities. That certainly has been the case in the Bussler household over the years.
As my son, Caleb, graduates this week, I want to reflect on two major adversities in his life and how it has shaped him into the young adult he has become. They have been defining points in his life and I believe it will propel him into great things in life.
From little on, Caleb has dealt with the adversity of growing up in a broken home without a mother and father together. This may not seem like a big deal to many, but there were extenuating circumstances involved beyond the normal, if there is such a thing, brokenness of the family. 
One of my greatest fears as I dealt with this adversity myself was how would this impact my children and what would happen to them growing up. I have often seen horror stories of what can take place with kids when they’re faced with such challenges as a broken family. 
While I know Caleb and my older daughter, Kyrie, have experienced great hurt in their lives over this, I have been amazed at how well they have handled it and rebounded to become the young adults they have. They have taken a negative and turned it into a positive in their actions and how they generally go about living their lives. As a parent, I couldn’t be more proud of Caleb’s accomplishments over the past 18 years. 
I believe this adversity has laid a solid foundation for Caleb to know life isn’t always fair and help him live his life as he spreads his wings into the, at times, crazy world we live in. I have always stressed core morals and values. 
Of course, there have been many core values I have tried to instill in my children, including honesty, loyalty, respectfulness, positivity, dependability, loving, independence and courageousness. But there are a couple key values that I hope Caleb will remember above and beyond the rest. They are a strong belief in God and a belief that family is of fundamental importance over and above anything else.
One of the other defining moments in Caleb’s life took place on Dec. 4, 2013, when a close friend and classmate, Alyssa Ettl, was killed in a car crash just a mile from the high school. As a police officer at the time, I responded to that crash and had the unfortunate task of notifying Alyssa’s parents that their daughter would never be coming home again. 
If that notification wasn’t horrible enough, I then had to deal with letting my son know that his best friend died. I will never forget the tears of sadness and hugs we exchanged in the halls of Lakeville North as I delivered that awful news.
Dealing with death isn’t easy at any age, but I think it’s hardest as a teenager. However, what has happened since that horrible day has defined Caleb as a loving, respectable, giving and helpful person. He has taken one of life’s darkest moments and turned it into something in which the entire community has benefited from. 
It has been incredible to see how Caleb’s faith has been strengthened and how he has not let Alyssa be forgotten. Caleb has been instrumental in establishing the Alyssa Ettl Scholarship fund, organizing a memorial kickball tournament in her memory and directing a memorial book drive benefiting low-income children in Minneapolis. 
Caleb has written in reference to Dec. 4, 2013: “This is the day I really began to think about everything I did in a deeper way. My leadership soon became the most important part of my life. Everything I did after this point in time was all to better myself and the people around me.”
He went on to say, “The last year and a half has been a time period that has completely changed my life and perspective on everything I do. The struggles that I have gone through at a young age have helped me gain a perspective and determination that can truly set me apart.”
Without question, Caleb has flourished in the face of adversity. Caleb has found that adversity brings good people closer together. Relationships created during such difficult times and under such tough conditions often last a long time, even a lifetime.
I don’t think Caleb will have any problem handling life’s challenges and thriving in his years ahead. For Caleb, he’s ready to go full steam ahead in hot pursuit of great things for his life. Happy graduation, son!