Sunday, February 9, 2025

I Was Thinking... Don’t Mess with Old People

There was a time when the elderly were revered for their knowledge and wisdom. A farmer would pass on lessons learned to the next generation because for years farming practices stayed the same. A boot maker, tanner, or carpenter would take young men under wing to teach them their trade. Religious teachings and family history were passed on orally from generation to generation.

But things changed, and an attitude developed that the old can’t keep up and are out of pace with a rapidly changing society. But don’t sell the old folks short.

My father was a township assessor for 30 years. A conversion to computer-based records was just beginning at the end of h is tenue. His paper and pencil legers were replaced with spreadsheets kept in computer files. New computer-generated projections now created valuations compared to his visual inspection method.

A hot shot superior ran a program from the state capitol that changed much of our local township valuations. Local taxpayers protested the new values at a hearing. One piece of land had tripled in value. The program listed it as A+ ground while dad’s records put it at C. He knew that two out of three years the farmer couldn’t plant anything there because it usually flooded in the spring.

After several such comparisons, the man’s superior told him to change all the evaluations to coincide with my dad’s paper records. Don’t mess with old people.

An elderly lady walked into the bank lobby and tried to use her debit card to withdraw $50. However, she was told any withdrawal under $200 had to be done using the ATM. When she questioned this, she was told those were the rules. She paused and then said she wanted to withdraw all her funds.

The teller checked her balance and found she had over $50,000 in her account. She returned and told the customer the bank didn’t have that much money on hand, and she would have to come back on Monday.

The elderly lady asked how much she could withdraw. She was told $5,000. When she received the money, she put $50 in her purse and told the teller she would like to deposit the $4,950 back into her account. Don’t mess with old people.

An elderly man was taking his time ordering at the drive-in and lady with kids behind him kept honking her horn. When the gentlemen got to the pay window he paid for his meal and that of the lady in the car behind. When she arrived at the pay window she was amazed at his nice jester. She leaned out her window and smiled and waved. When the man got to the service window, he presented both receipts, took both orders of food and drove away. Don’t mess with old people.

A woman at a restaurant ordered the $4.99 special, two eggs, toast, sausage and hash browns. But she told the waitress she didn’t want the eggs. The waitress told her that she would have to charge her ala cart, and the meal would be $6.50. After not being able to convince the waitress of the stupidity of this, she decided to order the special as is. When the waitress asked how she wanted her eggs, she replied, “raw and in the shell,” She took them home and made a cake. Don’t mess with old people.

A set of grandparents were going to invite their adult grandchildren to their new lake cabin for the weekend. However, during their time at the grandparents’ house the youngsters continually made fun of all the old stuff their grandparents had and told them they should modernize. Having had their fill of the criticism, overnight, the grandparents took their grandchildren’s cell phones and their car and headed for the cabin. Behind at the house they left their car, which was a stick shift, a rotary telephone, a paper road map, and the instructions to the cabin written in cursive. Don’t mess with old people.

If you still aren’t sure you shouldn’t mess with old people, just ask the minister of the church who referred to the group of women that did quilting ever Wednesday as “the little old ladies,” how that worked out. One lady said, “I don’t want someone looking at me and saying, ‘What a cute little old lady’. I’d rather have them look at me and think, “Crap, what’s she up to now.”

 

Did You Ever Wonder? — Who knew what time it was when they made the first clock?

 

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Dodge County Independent

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